Somewhere in the middle, you'll find me

I love blogs.  I love that they're all honesty, and freedom of expressions, and every one has this unique thing about theirs.  My two favorite blogs would astound you, though.  You'd read one and think, "Yeah, that's up her alley."  Then, you'd read the other and think someone took over my body and the woman that you know couldn't possibly like this.  One proclaims Jesus and His glory through everyday life - through the valleys and the storms and the mountains.  I breathe this blog in - refreshed and inspired.  The other cusses like a sailor, has not mentioned God's grace (that I've read) and doesn't pull any punches. 

Somewhere in the middle, you'll find me. 

That's why I love them. 

Somewhere between giving thanks and giving hell, you'll find me.
Somewhere between praising His name and forgetting to whom I belong, you'll find me.

I struggle with that woman in the mirror daily.  Fighting between who I think I should be, who I want to be, and loving who I am. 

I wholeheartedly love Jesus.
I say "damn" when I'm mad and when saying "so damn good" seems better than just "good".
I want to reach out with His hands and love on people.
Sometimes I just think people are too stupid to be messed with.
I need fellowship and worship with a church family.
I struggle with what I think a church should be.
I would do anything for my daughter and only want what's best for her.
I'm not afraid to tell her to "Get over it" when she's being a drama queen.
I strive to obey the law.
I drive too fast almost every time my foot touches the accelerator.
I believe in the Biblical definition of marriage.
I can't believe in the ignorance of some "Christians," though.
I believe in living your beliefs.
I don't believe in shoving them down someone's throat.

Somewhere in the middle, you'll find me.  But hey, maybe that's not so bad.  Maybe it's good to be in the middle:

In the middle of His grace...
In the middle of this crazy, beautiful life...
In the middle of my chaotic, imperfect family...
In the middle of it all.

Maybe that is exactly where He wants me. 

Until next time,
Keep Reflecting :)

P.S. If you want to enjoy these lovely ladies that I'm talking about, follow the links below.  I love their beauty, inspiration, and brutal honesty - even though they are so very different.

www.aholyexperience.com
www.renegademothering.com

Moms - here's to you

Mother’s Day is fast approaching.  I’ve decided I don’t care for this holiday much.  As an official mom, I’m allowed to say that and not receive condemning glares from others.  I dislike the holiday for the simple fact that, instead of making mothers feel fabulous and exalted, for many of us it just makes us feel overwhelmed and guilty. 

            Commerical Mother’s Day is all about that mom who wipes away every tear and kisses every boo-boo.  Even Mother’s Day from a Christian perspective is all about the “saintliness” of moms.  Do not misunderstand me – my mom is a precious gift from God.  She’s an incredible woman.  But looking at Mother’s Day, now from a mother’s perspective, has changed my tune about the whole holiday.  How many times do we, as mothers, look around on Mother's Day at these picture-perfect woman and think, "That's not me" or "I'm glad they don't live with me"?  We feel bad because we realize our imperfections on our ultimate, unattainable quest for perfect lives and families and children.

            Here’s my tribute to Mother’s Day:

            Here’s to the stepmoms, foster moms, and adoptive moms – who sometimes go unrecognized in the wake of biological mothers.  The moms who have to sound excited as your child tells you all about the gift they made for “mommy.”  The moms who love and hurt and press on because it’s all about that child.  The moms who bite their tongues and force smiles because that little set of eyes is watching how you handle “mommy”.  The moms who struggle to find and make their place in little lives. 

            Here’s to the moms who hide in the bathroom, eating cupcakes because they just need 10 minutes of “me” time.  Here’s to the moms who let their kids go to bed crying because they’re acting like spoiled brats and you can’t have that kind of behavior in this house.  Here’s to the moms who throw lunchables in lunch bags because really, who has the time to create healthy, organic lunches EVERY day.  Here’s to the moms who know their child well enough to know if it deserves a snuggle and babying or a good dose of tough love and “You’ll be okay”. 

            Here’s to the moms who cry because they’re overwhelmed, or confused, or just trying to make some semblance of order of this life and hope that you don’t screw them up too badly.  Here’s to the moms who aren’t afraid to hit their knees and cry out that they aren’t good enough, that they can’t do enough to ever meet the standards that they placed upon themselves.  Here’s to the moms who miss showers, leave a load of clothes in the washer until they’re rank, have sinks piled high with dirty dishes.  Here’s to the moms who crave bedtime and force their children to sleep in their own beds, because even in love something has to be your own.    

            Here’s to the moms everywhere who don’t think that they are “Supermom”.  Here’s to every time you fall and fly and fail and pray for grace to get back up again.  Here's to the moms who want to scream and cry and hug their child all at once.  Here's to unending, unquestionable, unnerving love that makes you pull your hair and wipe boogers and go to bed exhausted.  Here’s to imperfection and persistence and fresh mercies each morning.  Here’s to believing that God has called you to this role and that He will make you into exactly the mother that your child needs.    

            Imperfect, beautiful, messy mothers – here’s to you.  Happy Mother’s Day.